


we are an impossibility in an impossible universe

by isloremipsumafterall (orphan_account)



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 08:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: “We live on a spaceship with aliens and fight robots and you’re reading old sci fi stories like it isn’t your life.”“I like seeing what they thought our future would be like.”





	we are an impossibility in an impossible universe

As a kid Kaidan had loved to read the old sci fi novels, anthologies of stories that told tales of the wonders – and dangers – of space, full of characters that wanted to do their best and the occasional romance thrown in. Being on the Normandy was a lot like those books, in his downtime Kaidan could skim through them and see parts of the Normandy crew in those stories.

 

The datapad that held the novel wasn’t as personal as holding the actual books that he kept back at his parents place but there was still something comforting about reading those stories. Kaidan leant back in the remote part of the Normandy he’d found, close by the engine room and the constant sound of it was soothing as he read.

 

“I was wondering who’d been in here.”

 

Kaidan jerked his head away from his book to see Ashley standing there, leaning against the pseudo-doorway that lead to this small alcove. He glanced down to see she held her own datapad and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Guess I wasn’t the first one here after all.” He commented and made to stand but Ashley held a hand up.

 

“Don’t worry about it LT. There’s enough room for two.” There really wasn’t despite what Ashley said but she took a step forward and took a seat on the metal enclave, leaning against the bulkhead like he had a moment ago.

 

“What are you reading?” Kaidan asked curiously, trying to catch a glimpse of Ashley’s datapad.

 

Ashley looked over at him like she was debating telling him or not. “Tennyson.” She eventually said and leveled him with a look that just dared him to say something about that.

 

“Never been much for poems myself.” Kaidan admitted and held up his own datapad in a truce. “Heinlein.”

 

“We live on a spaceship with aliens and fight robots and you’re reading old sci fi stories like it isn’t your life.” Ashley’s voice was teasing not mocking and Kaidan’s lips quirked upwards.

 

“I like seeing what they thought our future would be like.” He shrugged, the closeness of the alcove meant he brushed his shoulders against Ashley’s.

 

“Yeah?” Ashley hummed, “Does it measure up?”

 

Kaidan looked back at his datapad in thought and then back at Ashley with a small grin, “It’s not so bad. They really had a lot more faith in us. It’s nice to think I’m helping to make sure it’s not misplaced.”

 

Ashley snorted in amusement and elbowed him lightly. “I think you’re doing pretty good there LT.”

 

“You too Chief.”

 

They settled down next to each other, reading their books in companionable peace.

 

~~

 

It became a continual thing in their downtime whenever they had it to hole themselves up in the alcove and read. Some days Kaidan couldn’t concentrate because of his headaches, resting against the cool metal bulkhead in an attempt to get rid of them as Ashley rested against him, warm and steady.

 

Some days Ashley couldn’t concentrate and took to taking apart her rifle and cleaning it before piecing it back together and starting all over again. On those days Kaidan watched idly in pretense of reading, ready to listen or talk if Ashley needed it and making sure she knew he was there.

 

Other days they just sat there, next to each other, not really reading after a harsh fight and just taking comfort in the fact that they made it out alive.

 

“You just going to keep reading at each other?” Wrex rumbled one day at them when they both in the cargo bay. He shook his head. “Human mating rituals make no sense.”

 

Ashley and Kaidan exchanged a glance, neither of them saying anything and Kaidan’s mouth felt strangely dry. He licked his lips, wishing he had the words or something to say, retort to Wrex that this was nothing but the fact of the matter was that it felt like something to him.

 

He looked forward to downtime not for the reading anymore but to spend that time with Ashley.

 

The realization settled in his stomach surprisingly easy, like it was there all along and just waiting for him to catch up. He caught Ashley’s eyes again and saw for a second there was surprise and then acceptance in hers too, she smirked at him and then reached out to grab his shirt and pulled him in to a kiss.

 

Romance, he thought almost dizzily, there had been romance in those old stories that he’d longed for.

 

This was better. This was real.

 

~~

 

Everything in his sense screamed that Virmire was a bad idea, it filled his every being with dread that he just couldn’t explain or voice.

 

“I’ve got so used to working with you…” Kaidan paused and turned to look at Ashley, “All of you.”

 

“Don’t worry so much.” Ashley grinned at him, partly teasing. “We’ll see you on the other side.”

 

Kaidan wanted to say something else there, add in a ‘be careful’ just to Ashley alone but Shepard was standing there so he kept quiet. Instead as Ashley walked away she brushed her gloved hand against his, glancing at him quickly and smiling softly before walking away with Kirahe.

 

His feeling didn’t get any better but he followed Shepard regardless to the location where they were to put the bomb.

 

“We need help Commander.” Ashley’s voice came over the comm, not shaking but there was a hint of desperation to it that had Kaidan almost leaping up to go.

 

He curled his hands in to fists and looked at the bomb. “Go, I need to set this up anyway.”

 

He regretted saying that and Shepard looked at him knowingly before nodding and ordering Garrus and Liara to head out with her. A cold sweat broke out as the feeling of dread welled up inside him.

 

“Ash?” He opened a comm channel directly to her.

 

“Little busy.” Ashley replied after a second.

 

“Yeah I figured.” Kaidan tapped at the console of the bomb, getting it set up. “Just thought you’d like to know I love you.”

 

Ashley paused and for a sick moment Kaidan thought he’d distracted her enough that she got shot.

 

“Couldn’t have waited till we were face to face? It’s a bit less romantic in a fire fight.” Ashley said.

 

“When isn’t our life a fire fight?” Kaidan shot back.

 

“So dramatic Kaidan.” Ashley laughed and he heard a shot fired from her end. “I said I’d see you on the other side, stop worrying.”

 

He wouldn’t and they both knew it.

 

“Hey LT.” Ashley said. “I love you too.”

 

“Heh, good to know.” The comm closed off on him and Kaidan bit his lip to draw his focus to the bomb.

 

A shot fired nearby his ear and Kaidan tensed, turning his head to see Geth slowly coming up to surround them.

 

If this was an old story Kaidan would die a hero. He’d take on the Geth and arm the bomb and give his team time to escape Virmire.

 

He certainly planned on it.

 

“It’s done Commander. Go get Williams and get the hell out of here.”

 

“Screw that.” Ashley didn’t even hesitate and despite the danger Kaidan couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. “We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko.”

 

There was an unbearable silence as Shepard thought. Kaidan’s comm beeped with a private chat from Ashley but he ignored it, gritting his teeth and waiting for the answer.

 

“Kaidan, Garrus and Liara are on their way back, I’m going to get Williams. You’re both getting out of here.” Shepard said and Kaidan blinked, not expecting that answer.

 

The Geth drew closer to him and he fired shot after shot, worried that Garrus and Liara wouldn’t make in time when a singularity exploded around the Geth and lifted them up.

 

“Alenko come on.” Garrus ran over to grab his shoulder, pulling him and the wounds on his side stung. “We’re getting out of here.”

 

“The bomb,” Kaidan began but Garrus shook his head.

 

“You’ve armed it, even the Geth can’t stop it now. If they can get to it.”

 

Kaidan glanced over to see Liara had put a barrier of singularities around them, it would take the Geth too long to make it to the bomb and he grinned, for the first time that day feeling like this wouldn’t turn out to be a disaster.

 

“I’m meeting you halfway so you better make it there.” Joker’s voice came over the comm, stressed as usual.

 

“We’ll get there. I’ve got Williams and Kirahe. Saren is on our tail Joker so you better be prepared to pull up fast.”

 

The world blurred around him in a mixture of adrenaline and pain, Kaidan couldn’t even remember the trip back on to the Normandy but he heard Ashley yell in pain as Saren fired a blast right at her. Shepard grabbed her and dragged her on to the ship with Kirahe’s help, the ramp lifted up and the Normandy took off, shaking in the after effects of being too close to the blast area as the bomb went off.

 

He was vaguely aware that Garrus had set him down next to Ashley as Chakwas ran into the room and began yelling out orders.

 

Before his vision blacked out completely he looked over at Ashley and offered her a wan smile, giving up all pretenses and dropping his forehead against hers.

 

“Close call.” He said, the words slurred even to his own mind.

 

“Told you I’d see you again.” Ashley said back stubbornly and then both lost consciousness.

 

~~

 

He woke up before Ashley did, looking over to see her resting the bed next his.

 

“You both got lucky.” Chakwas told them when Ashley woke up, frowning at them and shaking her head. “One more minute and I’m not sure either of you would have made it.”

 

They were both too tired to answer or do anything else and didn’t end up talking until Chakwas released both of them to bedrest in their rooms.

 

Kaidan waited for Ashley to join him outside of the medbay and slipped his hand into hers, squeezing her fingers lightly.

 

“Looks like you were right.”

 

Ashley rolled her eyes. “You can be less surprised Kaidan.”

 

He laughed but made a face when that tugged at his wound still. “Just had a feeling everything would go sideways that’s all.”

 

“You read too many books LT.” Ashley shook her head.

 

“You know a lot of those books have happy endings still. You just have to work for them.” Kaidan pointed out.

 

“We’ve worked enough.” Ashley said and when they reached the hallway where their rooms were she didn’t let go and tugged on his hand to lead him to hers. “Sometimes you just have to have faith.”

 

Ashley’s bed was small, reminding Kaidan of the alcove they read in and pulled Ashley as close as their injuries would allow.

 

“I believe in us.” He said, shutting his eyes.

 

Ashley pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips, sleepily missing. “Me too Kaidan.”

 

She was familiarly warm against him and Kaidan let himself drift off to sleep, knowing Ashley would still be there when he woke up.


End file.
